Counselor Lynn Gordon says there is no such thing as healthy co-dependency – but that patterns can be changed.
She told her audience at yesterday's Brown Bag Seminar that change begins with four questions – plus one. They are “What do you want?” “What do you want to accomplish?” “Who do you want to be when you get there – and how will you know when you're there?” And … “What are you willing to change,” to achieve the answers to those questions?
Because these are not easy questions to answer, she suggested a person asks each question three times without answering, then repeat the question a fourth time, slowly, and let the mind go blank. She said this is a process that puts the brain to work, so your subconscious will work on the questions for you, once you ask. She said the bottom line for change is to make a decision to behave differently and the key to success is to take responsibility for your needs.
She also talked about fear, saying the greatest fear of childhood is abandonment, and the greatest fear of adulthood is loneliness.
Gordon is a counselor with the Family & Personal Counseling Center in Sheridan, and her Brown Bag Seminars are held weekly at Sheridan College's facilities on Main Street. Seminars are free and open to the public, and start at 12:10 on the second, third and fourth Wednesdays of the month. Attendees are always invited to bring their lunches to the event.
Seminars next month will focus on self-care, including self-esteem and use of time, and the April seminars will address personal growth and change.